Feeling sleepy

As a kid I always used to think that there is a reason for my existence and that I'll find it one day. Today I do not know where am I going?!?! I can see short term destinations but who has seen the future. Things never go as per the plan then why do I care about future or keep thinking about past. My religious heart asks me to follow a part that is not completely in sync with what is expected out of me ... perhaps because I do not agree with few sayings. My personal belief has always been to be a good human being and this "goodness" is of course a relative term. I do not want to hurt people and that is my one of the definition of being good. However, I wont say I have never hurt anyone in life ... yes unintentionally many times. Good or bad, happy or sad, love or hatred - there is no concrete definition of these words. Everyone does what he or she feels like. Interestingly I do not even know the threshold or extend to measure the love or happiness or goodness in my life. I can just feel it and sometimes it comes out as tears. Pretty ironic!

My mind is currently in a confused mass of protoplasm state. I want to do 100 things but not taking any steps towards them. Mum has always been right - I am the most laziest person in this world. Well, to think of it...I like to be lazy on weekends.....it is so much fun! Just lay around, watch TV, order food, sleep and sleep and sleep....(need to discipline myself....aaaah)

Diwali is coming - one of my favorite festivals. Still wondering how to celebrate it this year. Okay it is 1 am right now and time to bed. Yawnnnn.......

People Management

The topic I always wanted to explore, the experience that I always wanted to have - people management. I started my (official) sailing on this boat a few months ago and so far the journey has been good if not great.

It is so amazing to see that people perceive same event in n number of ways. Some crib, few others just get along and others drift apart. The difference just lies in the attitude. And my job is to take everyone together in a common direction. That is one hell of a task. Being a libran, a quality is in-built in me i.e to be fair and balanced as far as possible in my statements/opinions and I am glad that helps me in taking few decisions. I can certainly agree that technology management is easier than people management.

Interestingly a pattern is developing from the last couple of weeks - whenever any challenging situation or negativity comes to me, I take myself  to a distant corner and think from a third person's opinion. What the other person might be thinking when he/she approached me with that action and sometimes I also think what meaning does this negativity will have in my life in future (just an experience?). So I either approach the solution in a manner unexpected by the person or ignore it. (Disclaimer: Actions are not 100% successful so far....yeah kinda difficult to implement under few critical situations. This little but difficult ego starts playing its role....lol)

Perception is a good topic. What is right for one person might be completely wrong for another. A terrorist never says he/she is killing innocent people, a thief might give 10 reasons explaining his actions. A pune's incident is in news these days, a girl set her ex-boyfriend and his present fiancee on fire. I still do not understand how people can go to an extend of killing someone? I have faced a similar situation in past and perhaps a good reason for me to accept that people 'can' go completely mad at times. I saw that person losing his self to an extent that nobody can imagine in his/her wildest dreams. Ok...let me not drift away.

Aah - movie time now. Will pen more thoughts later.