Suffering - is it bad?

Robin Williams died today and my facebook page was full of disappointments over the tragic event (sure it is one). Apparently, it was a suicide case (not confirmed as yet though) but it did keep me thinking about what does a man want in his life. By society's standards - he was pretty successful and yet so depressed and lonely from inside. With each passing day, I am getting convinced that the definition of success needs to be re-defined by society. There is no point in running towards fame, name and money. It is very short term success that guarantees no satisfaction. In fact, I see ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in this materialistic world that can ever have an end and that can make a person feel content.

This incident also kept me pondering over the concept of pain. I have never met anyone in my life who does not have problems. I had an intelligent conversation with someone last weekend who mentioned that reading books helps us find answers to our problems that someone else might have faced in their lifetime. Impressive thought! Under the weight of our own limited world and problems, we tend to oversee the big picture. I would like to go a step further and add that we should also try to solve our problems for others ...meaning by setting an example of 'how to solve such situations". E.g as mentioned in Geeta (Mahabharat) - Karan could have solved his problem - of being undervalued by society - by helping others learn his super powerful skills & techniques. Instead, he chose to become selfish and resorted to take revenge from Pandavas - which caused no benefit to society ...and so his life ended as that of just another warrior (and not in a good light). I feel that whenever we face a problem, we should look at it from 1000 miles from above and not from 10 miles and find out exemplary ways to face it.

Are our pains good or bad for us? Simple answer is - 'I don't know' because it depends. However, when I look back at my own life - all the challenging times have always helped me push further and have made me matured in life. I value people, their emotions and have become much more compassionate and grounded than before. Waheguru has given this life to learn something from and to get closer to him (that power). So although we all detest bad times + pains + suffering -- reality is that these times help us achieve our ultimate goals more quickly. Suffering is a medicine as Guru Nanak dev ji also said - "Dukh daaru sukh rog bhaiya"

Man Jitey Jag Jeet!

Desires – we human beings are full of them! Even before we achieve one milestone, the desire of next already begins. No matter how big our current accomplishments are, we all feel somewhat empty till we reach the next stop. Our life ends but the vicious circle does not. An assertion that fulfilling our desires will make us happy spawns in each of us. That satisfaction of achieving our materialistic objectives does give satisfaction but it lasts just for a little while. My point is that such happiness + satisfaction + good feelings are not eternal.

Those who live only in India feels that it is a blessings to live in US/UK or any such part of the world (that’s a typical thought) and the residents of these developed countries keep cribbing about hell lot of things to boot. Everyone envies the other in some or the other form. I have been blessed to travel a bit as part of my work and my observations state that it is not the place but our own mind that counts towards happiness. Regardless of whether I live in NY or Vegas or Delhi or Hyderabad – if I am not surrounded by my family and friends, there is no happiness. The experience of travelling alone or talking to new people is fantastic. I don’t deny the pleasure of seeing the world and being in a safe, clean, pollution free and organized environment. However, if I am truly focussed to see positivity around then I enjoy being ‘anywhere’.

The world is designed so well, so perfectly. The negativity is there to appreciate the positivity. Only failures help us learn. It must have started from the search of food that lead mankind to reach today where we take the primary so much granted and feel accomplished only with secondary achievements. It has no end – it will never have because it is not supposed to have.

Some say life is too long and few others claim it to be short. I am not cent percent sure (that’s me a typical Libran) about my thoughts but those are tilted towards the claim that it is short. There is so much to do and so less done. I would not say I have wasted almost the three decades of my life (whoa!! I am old) but I don’t feel too accomplished as well. God is perfect and he has made sure that we all are. We just need to traverse through our own unique paths!

Fears

God has pumped in many emotions in all the creatures of the world and our learnings though life depend on how we wade through these emotions. Fear is one of the biggest feelings that drive these emotions. Fear of losing societal prestige, fear of losing financial status, fear of losing love, fear of losing health, or fear of losing life etc etc!!! Why do we fear all these "fears"? Is it because we are too dependent on others to validate what we think or are we too attached with life that we dont want to progress....are we too scared to witness what is beyond these fears? I, like many others, feel that I do not fear anything but that is not true. I might not fear death or I might not need people to validate me but I might fear on other aspects.

I have always encountered situations wherein I just needed to push myself a little to go beyond the imagination of being successful. There is a very thin line between a fear and an overwhelming happiness. We also know that fears we dont face become our limits but still fear persists!! Running away from fears amplifies those fears and then we fear that bigger fear and it further gets bigger and the journey continues...

So what do we need to get rid of them? Do we risk taking a head-on collision everytime with these fears or do I take precautionary measures and move slowly? I cant be too sure but I feel the answer lies in the gut feeling - that tiny voice from within. If I believe in something with all my heart, I "know" I would do it.....if I trust someone I look into his/her eyes and "know" I would believe that person. So it is a state of "completeness" i guess. We face our fears when we "trust" ourselves....when we listen to that silence and feel content with what we have. Death would have no significance when we would realize the purpose of life & fulfill it up to the hilt. Losing anything to the materialistic or spiritual world would mean nothing when we would grow beyond its meaning. We must not act in the absence of fear but despite it!

There are still many surrounding questions - the quest of getting answers to which continues.

Does God listen to us?

Every human being has his/her own unique life story and cycles of good+bad days. Such smooth roads and tough patches help us question our belief systems and molds us into either a stronger or a weaker person. I, being a God-believer, rests my support system on Him and constantly seeks ways to absorb the intensity of the  situation. Of late, I have been noticing a pattern emerging in all those incidences. At a macro level - my life is the reflection of my experiences & what I perceive is important in my life...meaning the current state is the result of my thoughts. If I believed in certain principles and wanted to abide by them strongly, then I was presented with situations, which tested those beliefs and I decided to stick to what I wanted to.

I often wonder how sometimes things happen the way I want and sometimes they dont. Why those hunches give me a satisfaction of taking the right decision. What are those hunches or instincts? Is God showing me the way or is it only a self-proclaimed voice coming from inside? Is it always correct or is that the opinion of my own belief system? I just lied down yesterday and tried to listen to all the voices around. I could hear that noise coming out of lifts of my apartment, someone's laugh, bird talks, loud brakes of cars/bikes etc. And then everything started settling down. I could hear my stomach making some noises and then it became all silent. There was peace and I started pondering over my problems. Yet after thinking about all that - there was a serenity around. I stopped thinking about my stuff and was silent. Core-silence .... It was amazing ... and then the door-bell rang and I woke up.I must be the laziest person on this planet not to indulge in this silence luxury on a daily basis. I have become a multi-tasking queen these days - not something I feel proud of though because it is making me busy with no time to "think". Got to discipline myself. High time to do that.

Questioning our own belief system might lead us to correct what is not and perhaps I could hear those instincts more clearly & loudly as I spend more time with them.

Life - the project!

Project planning is crucial - is what we learn daily. I wonder that life is one of the bigget projects in our lives yet we still do not plan it well. Or perhaps the planning does not help much. The scope of this project varies all the time. As a kid - my whole world used to revolve around my parents, siblings and home. Ability to write my full name in nursery used to be an achievement in itself ... ability to sketch a simple lotus flower (sketching means copying ;) ) used to draw compliments from every corner. An evening cricket match with my brother used to be the biggest game ever. I fail to recollect how these small days turned into weeks, months, years and decades. Gosh - its been quite a while!!! Accomplishment of one milestone lead to another and that never ending race is still in progress. However, life is too short to stop dreaming. Timelines are sensitive - I hope I am able to live with all these constraints and still be able to execute the project till a respectable end.

Rockstar

"Movie was great ... Ranbir Kapoor acted really well....I got bored .....etc etc - All I could hear was "talks .... yes lots of them" ... as I was walking down the stairs towards parking. Well, I was one of them too.

Movie started with lots of expectations. The director gave a short glimpse of the story in the beginning to keep you glued to the screen wondering how it all happened. Imtiaz Ali kept doing it throughout the movie and yes, he was really successful in scattering the story and then bringing all pieces back together to move the curiosity at various levels.

Passion towards a cause/hobby/interest can make someone do anything. Jordan wanted to be a Rockstar but nothing was working out. And then like a true champion, he analyzed the situation and tried to bridge the gap between where he was and what he wanted to become. Out of innocence - he wonders why he had no pain in life and like they say "be careful of what you wish for, you might just get it".

What I really liked in the movie was the importance of journey in one's life. It might not be about destination after all. Even after achieving all he wanted in life- (his passion of becoming a Rockstar), Jordan was not happy. He could/did not even enjoy the happiness of reaching the destination. It meant nothing to him when he reached the target. The passion had transformed in between.

Sometimes we long for something ... wish to get it somehow and surprisingly, that thing turns out to be non-relevant & unimportant when we actually get it.



Music was amazing. A R Rehman is a genius and so is the voice of Mohit Chauhan. Loved the combination! The songs were not embedded into the movie but those were instrumental in taking the story forward. Brilliant work! "Sadda Haq" is one of my favs but I found the situation a little inappropriate for the song in the movie. Perhaps it was - given the personality that Jordan had. 2 lines that caught my attention very deeply (Fayakun song): "Ho mujh pe karam sarkar tera ... arj tujhe kar de mujhe ... mujhse hi reeha ... ab mujhko bhi ho deedar mera ...ab kar de mujhe mujh se hi riha". Additionally, I loved that Jugalbandi of Shehnai and Guitar --- simply great.

Climax could not impress me much. It could have been better. An innocent, cute, fun loving Jordan gets transformed into someone else in second half of the movie and it was kind of sad. They say - pain makes a person either very strong or very weak. The director chose to make Jordan the latter. Jordan never even attempts to re-unite with his family, whom he claimed in the beginning to have given him a smooth, happy life. It was sad to see the heroine in that situation....c'mon guys it was a movie after all - a miracle could have happened :)

Oh yeah - this was Nargis Fakhri's debut movie however she dint do justice to her role. Ranbir Kapoor deserves a great applause. He lived the character perfectly.

Overall - I liked the movie and now I'm listening to the songs. Gaana.com is the official partner in making of this movie (saw it when the movie started) ..........that explains now why Rockstar album is not available on musicindiaonline.com. lol

Feeling sleepy

As a kid I always used to think that there is a reason for my existence and that I'll find it one day. Today I do not know where am I going?!?! I can see short term destinations but who has seen the future. Things never go as per the plan then why do I care about future or keep thinking about past. My religious heart asks me to follow a part that is not completely in sync with what is expected out of me ... perhaps because I do not agree with few sayings. My personal belief has always been to be a good human being and this "goodness" is of course a relative term. I do not want to hurt people and that is my one of the definition of being good. However, I wont say I have never hurt anyone in life ... yes unintentionally many times. Good or bad, happy or sad, love or hatred - there is no concrete definition of these words. Everyone does what he or she feels like. Interestingly I do not even know the threshold or extend to measure the love or happiness or goodness in my life. I can just feel it and sometimes it comes out as tears. Pretty ironic!

My mind is currently in a confused mass of protoplasm state. I want to do 100 things but not taking any steps towards them. Mum has always been right - I am the most laziest person in this world. Well, to think of it...I like to be lazy on weekends.....it is so much fun! Just lay around, watch TV, order food, sleep and sleep and sleep....(need to discipline myself....aaaah)

Diwali is coming - one of my favorite festivals. Still wondering how to celebrate it this year. Okay it is 1 am right now and time to bed. Yawnnnn.......